fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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