he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
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She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
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YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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