one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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