I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
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Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
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Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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