I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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