I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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