I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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