My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Sponge bath it is.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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