we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
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It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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