Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize