Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
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well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
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You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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