I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize