I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize