I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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