i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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