i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize