Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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