I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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