it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
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You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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