sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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