Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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