I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize