Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(480): View more from Arizona

So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(480): So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that. http://tfl.nu/bec0

Replies (12) Good night (1023) Bad night (2178) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.

(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm moving there. Get me hired.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job. (973): I'm moving there. Get me hired. http://tfl.nu/wn7j

Replies (39) Good night (5517) Bad night (624)
Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off. http://tfl.nu/irzu

Replies (22) Good night (2801) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes. http://tfl.nu/cehz

Replies (5) Good night (603) Bad night (4054) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(571): View more from Virginia

i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

so you made the shocked face and they caught you.

(571): View more from Virginia

yup.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(571): i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise. (570): so you made the shocked face and they caught you. (571): yup. http://tfl.nu/1dzq

Replies (19) Good night (1297) Bad night (5149)
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard. http://tfl.nu/cjsq

Replies (9) Good night (2690) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(904): View more from Florida

pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(904): pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking. http://tfl.nu/eg7z

Replies (3) Good night (2063) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.

(770): View more from Georgia

Dude. Do it.

(678): View more from Georgia

Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out. (770): Dude. Do it. (678): Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober? http://tfl.nu/58ew

Replies (15) Good night (4254) Bad night (559)
Favorite
(775): View more from Nevada

That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(775): That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn. http://tfl.nu/5r2c

Replies (7) Good night (2571) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.

(330): View more from Ohio

Dude what the fuck...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer. (330): Dude what the fuck... http://tfl.nu/hphb

Replies (4) Good night (1517) Bad night (411)
Favorite
(614): View more from Ohio

Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(614): Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant http://tfl.nu/jhvb

Replies (3) Good night (864) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen http://tfl.nu/i11i

Replies (13) Good night (1251) Bad night (342) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(619): View more from California

I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(619): I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever http://tfl.nu/mt31

Replies (5) Good night (869) Bad night (187) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(226): View more from Ontario

While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(226): While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook." http://tfl.nu/v50o

Replies (7) Good night (1532) Bad night (215)
Favorite
(714): View more from California

wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man

(1-714): View more from California

you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(714): wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man (1-714): you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife http://tfl.nu/week

Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (94) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: