shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
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so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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