Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
ttyl tear gas
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize