Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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