we have officially lost it.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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