i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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