Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
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I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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