There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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