you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
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I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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