who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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