oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize