She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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