PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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