dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize