so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
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he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
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I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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