Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize