wat bout pragnant strippers??
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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