Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
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Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize