And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
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I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
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Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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