you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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