i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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