he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
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Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
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My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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