It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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