Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
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