I love black thongs
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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