I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize