...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
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The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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