What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize